"I have a strategy"

Two seconds into my cab ride, my taxi driver asks "Have you been to the casino (pronounced as 'kah-si-noh') ah?"

Here we go, one of those chatty ones. He was obviously dying to tell me a story, so I let him, and replied with a semi-interested tone. "No. Have you?"

"Ya lah. I went last weekend oredi."

"Really? So how was it?"

"Good lah. Experience new casino."

"I hear that there are still problems lah. Got queue for toilet, queue for food, queue for parking, queue for everything."

"Got lah. You know how many people go there every day ah?"

"No. How many?"

"I read ah...15,000 people went over the weekend ah!" This was probably about two weeks after the official opening of the casino.

"Hah? Really ah? 15,000 people? Wah, that's a lot of people!"

"Ya la. Very crowded loh."

"So did you win or lose?"

"Me ah? I win lah." Said in a modest tone, but not that modest that he doesn't want me to probe further.

"Oh, good lah. Not everybody go to casino win money." I realise that it's easier to speak Singlish to taxi drivers and usually make little to no effort in grammar and syntax when I'm having these lengthy conversations with them.

"That's because they don't have a strategy. I have a strategy you know!"

"What? A strategy to win money? I'm sure everyone oso got."

"Huh...I tell you, I was in casino for 7 hours. I made $860, so after paying the levy, I still make money. I see all these people come in, put a lot of money down, and then they lose everything so fast. I got strategy, wan."

"Wah, almost $100 per hour. Not bad wat. Better than driving taxi hoh?"

"You want to know my strategy or not?"

"What did you play in the casino? Blackjack ah?"

"No lah. That one sure lose game. I play roulette lah!"

"Roulette? Why? Sure win wan meh?"

"My strategy can win lah. You want to know my strategy ah?"

"Of course! If can win money, of course I want to know!"

"My strategy - I play 12 numbers lah."

Side bar: For those who are not aware of the roulette 'rules' or the wheel, there are 36 numbers on the wheel plus a '0' and/or '00'. These numbers are 'randomly' placed on the wheel, but are laid out in a 3 x 12 grid on the table. In addition to the individual numbers, there are a number of additional bets along the side (row and column). There are a number of 'strategies' that people use to play roulette - either in sections or individual bets within these 'sections'. These are the 'serious gamblers'. The 'casual gambler' would usually walk up to the table, dump a huge amount of money on one of the side bets (usually odd or even, or red or black) and then very likely lose and walk away with their tails between their legs. For those who are really interested in roulette: http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/how-to-play-roulette.htm

So back to the taxi driver...

"Oh, so you play first, second and third 12 issit?"

"Hah?"

Err...okay, so maybe I'm a bit more experienced in roulette than he is. "So how do you bet? 1 to 12, 13 to 26, 27 to 36 ah?"

"Ah, ya lah. How you play?"

"Oh, a bit same like you lah. But my 12 numbers are different lah. I use the wheel to split my 12 numbers."

"Hah? How to play?"

"Same like the table lah, but I split the wheel into three loh. So each section will have one set of numbers. I just buy that set of numbers lah. Because people believe that the spinner will always spin within one section of the wheel. So if I see my numbers keep appearing, then I know the spinner is spinning in my section lah." Okay, I know I probably lost most of you, but the roulette-gambler would know what I'm talking about.

"Hah? Wah. So confusing wan ah. So what are your numbers?"

"I think I still remember them. Err...something like 3, 8, 13, 23, 28, 29, 33, 35, 36. And always bet on 0."

"Okay lah, I'll try your numbers next time I'm in the casino lah. You know ah, one of my friends ah. Got tip from a dealer."

"What kind of tip?" And no, it's not 'Don't eat yellow snow' or 'Cross at the green man'.

"This dealer ah. He said that he got money problem, so he ask my friend to lend him money and he will tell my friend how to win in the casino. He wanted $25,000 woh!"

"Hah? So much money!??! So your friend gave him the money ah?"

"Ya, my friend gave him the money. And then he told my friend how to bet lah. My friend has won $200,000 oredi!"

I fought to keep my dubious look off my face - but I've been told that I have no poker face, so I probably didn't succeeed. Fortunately for me, the taxi driver didn't notice.

"Really ah? What is the tip?"

"He taught my friend how to bet on roulette lah. He said to bet on some numbers only loh." And obviously he wasn't going to tell me what THOSE numbers are!

"Oh...okay, can stop here now. So good luck for your future trips to the casino ah!"

"Ya, ya. You too!"

Strategy indeed. I think that people just want to think that there is a strategy or a science behind gambling, because let's face it. No one wants to think that they're putting money on the table and leaving everything to chance or luck, do they? The same is true for me. I believe that by playing blackjack at the casino, I'm actually having some 'control' over whether I win or lose (and even the gambling books say so!), but to be honest? I have no control over how the cards fall in the shuffling machine, and I have no control over what idiots may do with their cards at the table. So yes...gambling is pure chance. And if you're happy to take the chance, then it can be quite fun. Sometimes.

"Who says you can't make money driving taxis?"

When I got into this taxi, I thought that this would be a quiet ride home. Until we got near the entrance of the CTE tunnel at Havelock Road. I noticed that the electronic noticeboard says "Jam in Tunnel", so I yelled out to Mr. Taxi Driver not to go onto the CTE. He made a quick swerve - not into the path of an on-coming car, I might add - and took the alternative route. And then turned around to thank me for having seen the noticeboard! That took me quite by surprise, and I couldn't help blurting out "I thought taxi drivers like to get stuck in jams!"

"No lah, what a waste of time! I earn less money getting stuck in jam, you know!"

This is new news to me!

"Really? How come? It's more expensive for me, so you must make more money being stuck in the jam right?"

"No lah! If I'm stuck in the jam, it means that my earn rate per hour is lower than normal. So instead of making $60 an hour, I'm only making $40 an hour. You know what I mean?"

"But the taxi fare is higher what. So how come you don't make as much?"

"Ya lah, the taxi fare is higher. But it's not much more money for me. It doesn't cover what I would normally earn. You  know ah, I don't simply pick up passengers wan. I have a strategy. I only pick up from airport and hotels. You are lucky that I pick up you up. I don't normally do street pick up wan."

"Why not?"

"What for? I go airport and hotel, the fare there usually higher. I told you, got strategy wan. You know ah, when you have strategy, can make a lot of money. On average, I make $200 to $300 a day. You know?"

I did some mental calculations and figured that it was a fairly decent income to be making. He then divulged his trade strategy to me - which I won't repeat here, but it was a pretty sound strategy. After all, he IS making $200 to $300 a day!

"You should write a book lah."

"Me? Write a book? No lah! Then my secret won't be secret anymore. I get more competition. You not competition only I tell you. If you drive taxi, I won't tell you this!"

"So how come all the other taxi drivers always..."

"Complain they don't make enough money right? It's because they are LAZY lah! They all sit in taxi queue and wait for 30 minutes, 45 minutes for someone to take their taxi. For me, I only wait 5 minutes in the queue. If got no passengers, I leave. Go somewhere else, where got more business."

"So where's the best area for business?"

"Suntec/Marina area lah. Got a lot of hotels there mah."

"Oh yah...and there's no MRT there, so everyone must take cabs!"

"Got MRT or no MRT, no difference wan lah! I tell you, last time when I was working in my old job, I never take MRT wan. What for? Take cab, at least send you door to door. Take MRT must walk up, walk down. Too much trouble lah. I always took a cab, when I was working."

"So what did you used to do before you started driving taxi?"

"Me ah? I'm actually an engineer."

What? An engineer, working as a taxi driver? Why? I've heard of people who are qualified to take on better jobs, but end up driving taxis. But this is my first encounter with one of these 'people'.

"But why are you driving a taxi?"

"I used to work in a factory. And then they expand and want to send me to China. But I don't like the package lah, so I stopped working lah. They paid me to stop working woh. 1 month for every year I was working. And you know how long I've been working ah? I've got nearly 30 years experience in the factory! So I took the money, stopped working, then went travelling with my wife."

"Wah! Where did you go?"

"Everywhere lah. I went travelling for one year. One and a half years."

"Wah! So which country was your favourite?"

"Favourite ah? I like Austria lah. And Switzerland."

"Wah! Why?"

"I like the buildings lah. Very interesting."

"Oooohhh..."

"Then I come back, I drive taxi lah. You know the best part? I got no boss!"

"Yah, true, true."

"And you know? I'm making about the same money that I used to make. And I get a free car. Good what."

"But why you don't want to go back to working in a factory?"

"What for? My two sons, they also engineer. I say, if I go back to work as engineer, more competition for them. Haha."

"Wah. Where are they working? Here?"

"Ya. One in Japan. One American. But they don't come back a lot lah. When they come back, don't even have time to see me. Come back on Friday, see girlfriend on Saturday, then leave on Sunday. I only see them when I pick them up from airport and send them back to airport. Haha."

"Oh. So busy ah?"

"Ya lah. But you know what ah? They don't pay taxi fare, but they ask me to print out receipt and then take and claim back from company! I tell you ah...they learn all this from me lah. Haha."

That unfortunately, brought me to my destination. But I was impressed at how someone had made something that seems so menial become a 'thinking person's job'. And how strategy does make a difference in what you do. If only I believe that I have a strategy tied to what I'm doing now...!

Taxi Drivers in Singapore

When I first moved to Singapore, I noticed that there always seemed to be a discussion going on at some point or some place about someone's experience with The Taxi Driver. Coming from Malaysia, where people drive everywhere and avoid taxis like the plague, I didn't understand why it was such an interesting OR fascinating topic of conversation.

But after being here for about three years, I've come to realise why people talk about taxi drivers so much over here. They really are quite fascinating...and also very frustrating. So before I start talking about my conversations with taxi drivers, I must first unleash a rant about them, so that the scene is set. Obviously since I don't take taxis that much in other countries, I don't know if taxi drivers are the same around the world - or Singaporean taxi drivers are unique.

So here's my rant.

And these are broad generalised statements...so for any Singaporean taxi drivers who read this and feel like I've maligned them with sweeping statements, I apologise.

1) They think that everyone on the road owes them a living
This means that if they want to swing into your lane ahead of you, then it's their right. This means that if they want to make a right or left turn from the wrong lane and cut across your lane when you're going straight, then it's their right.
This means that if they want to stop in the middle of the road to pick-up or drop-off a passenger, then it's their right.
This means that if they want to wait in a taxi queue for passengers even if it means blocking the entrance to a mall, then it's their right.

2) They don't earn enough money from standard metered fare - and it's your fault
This means that they try to maximise their income by making you pay as much as possible for your fare by stretching out the time you spend in their cab. They do this by:
- Getting stuck in traffic jams
- Getting stuck at traffic lights
- Getting stuck at the wrong lanes - or slow-moving lanes
- Getting stuck behind non-moving vehicles - or slow-moving vehicles

And although it's specified in the taxi driver code of conduct that they are required to ask their passengers which route they prefer to take, some of them don't. You see, if they don't ask for route preference, then they can take the longest possible route to get you to your destination.

And if you point out the fact that they've taken the long/wrong route, they pretend like they KNOW that there is a jam in the shorter route. Or that they didn't know that you wanted to go the shorter route (that's because they didn't ask to begin with!). Or that you hadn't communicated to them clearly enough. And then act all villified and victimised. Like it's YOUR fault that they've gone the route that costs you more!

3) They try to conserve fuel by alternating between accelarating and free-wheeling
So at some point or other, SOMEONE must have told A taxi driver that if you accelarate, and then free-wheel off that accelaration for the next 100 metres, it would save on fuel consumption. Now this means that they pay less for petrol, and pocket more of their fares. Sounds reasonable. So this taxi driver must have then told 10 other taxi driver mates, who then told another 10, who then told another 10. Word-of-mouth is very powerful amongst this circle.

And now about 90% of taxi drivers do that!

It wouldn't bother me so much how they drive...if I didn't suffer from motion sickness. The stop-start motion in this kind of taxi is enough to make you spew your guts out over taxi rides longer than 10 minutes. Sometimes even less, depending on how violently the driver accelarates. And to be honest...I wonder if this theory is even true?!! Did anyone bother to find out if this kind of driving actually saves on fuel consumption??? Did no one bother to question the very first taxi driver who came up with this theory???

4) They talk too much
Some taxi drivers leave you alone for the entire journey. You just need to get in, tell them where you want to go. If they ask which route you prefer (most times), you tell them. Then you can sit in peace and relax. Unless of course, you get a chatty taxi driver.

A Chatty Taxi Driver will talk to you whether you want to listen or not. Whether he has anything interesting to say or not. Whether you respond or not. Whether you understand him or not. In fact, he's not even talking TO you, he's talking AT you.

So what do they talk about? In order of likelihood and frequency:
- Conspiracy theories - usually relating to the 'gah-men' ('government')
- How they're not fairly compensated
- Casino - only due to the recent opening of Resorts World
- The World (Economy) Today

Which brings me to the topic of this blog. My conversations with taxi drivers. As I mentioned, sometimes they're not even conversations. It's a monologue on the taxi driver's part, with me making appropriate comments/noises during pauses. But every now and then, there is a gem of a conversation. Every now and then, I get into a conversation with a taxi driver and I find out things that I didn't know before. My most recent encounter with one of these taxi drivers prompted me to ask him to write a book about his theories and strategies. But he said that it would only create more competition if everyone knew his trade secrets.

So suddenly I'm inspired to write about the conversation and this taxi driver's point of view. Then I trawled through my memory banks to find other interesting conversations that I have had over the last few years. And then I realised that I've actually had quite a few of these! And here goes...